Child Q

Intentional parenting stands with Child Q. As a community of black African parents, we will work with our community at large to heal on the trauma that we have faced.

What makes Child Q a very distressing and complex case is the layers of abuse, discrimination, injustice the community faces. To rectify these issues requires a system wise approach. For instance, why didn’t Child Q refuse to be undressed without her parents there??

As I write it’s difficult to imagine what must have been going through her mind when all this was happening. I want to take a minute and applaud the relationship Child Q has with her mother that she was able to share the horrors of what happened to her.

Thank you to the Hackney Safeguarding who took this forward to the panel.

We are holding a series of webinars to discuss about this trauma, led by qualified practitioners from education, health, safeguarding, parenting,faith, youth work and many others.

Intentional Parenting invites those with expertise in those areas, are willing to work with our community to get in touch via our contact page below via email/ phone/ whatsapp.

We are open and willing to work with both statutory and voluntary organisations in forging a way forward.

We understand that this is not an isolated incident. We will speak to our children and LISTEN to their experiences. We will LEARN from their experiences and stand with them.

We promise to make time and read the SCHOOL policies so we are familiar with them.

As a community we will seek opportunities to be part of the change both in schools and our local areas. These will include volunteering and participating in events that involve our children’s education such as school governorship, PTA (parent teacher association), youth work etc.

We pledge to continue working within our community and other partner agencies in making sure ALL children thrive and reach their potential.

To Child Q and many others, we see you. we hear you. As your parents forgive us for times we didn’t believe you, we are willing to do the work.

Diaspora diaries: My children and their education-supporting exam time.

Webinar

God has called us into a *living* relationship with Him and those around us especially our families, children in particular.

By investing time, we are able to be effective in supporting their journey into their growth.

– Loving them despite and beyond the grades is key.

– Love propels us to invest time in prayer for them.

– Supporting them with their studies throughout the year is more important than exam day.

– Speak to their teachers, be involved at school.

– For most of us, the education system is a whole new experience. Seek to learn from others, ask questions, be open and willing to learn.

– Let’s be sensitive and empathetic towards other parents who may seem to be struggling at school.

God bless you

Flourish

This was our Word for the month of September 2019. Back then, I had received 3 indoor plants in one month. I began to sense that there was a deeper meaning to the random gifts friends gave me.

I am in no way, shape or form good with plants. One friend said ‘ the more reason why I am gifting you plants’. Talk of being stretched 😂

I struggled with a particular plant a bit and had to run back to the giver. She advised me to CAREFULLY trim the dead parts of the leaf, feed the plants organic home food and watch. The organic home fertiliser comprised of overnight soaked banana peels, egg shells and tea bag.

To my amazement, the plant started to thrive.

Rejoice

This was my latest gift, Rejoice and I loved her!

I felt the law of seeding and harvesting was at work in that season. Seeding, weeding, nurturing and tending to plants requires careful attention as well as commitment. The harvest is bountiful to those who will do the work right?

“Lord strengthen my hands in place of hard labour(parenting). Help me not to shrink back or give up. Allow my entrusted plants (children) to flourish through careful considerations.”

Isn’t it amazing that this plant analogy also translates to our role as parents! Many of us we are not confident in this area. We are not sure what fertiliser to apply, how much moisture and where to place the plant so it can thrive and blossom. All this guesswork and stress levels 🤣🤣.

What I have found to be useful is having that trustworthy and well informed friend. Remember that passionate green fingered friend of mine forever gifting plants? Yes, her! Each time I visit her house she has got this new plant, that other plant and they are ALL blossoming. Interestingly, she tells me that she reads a lot about these plants before she buys them. She is careful to follow instructions around watering, plant feed and placement. She chuckles every time I tell her the plant she gifted me has died..

While google is available to all of us, my understanding, patience and interests are clearly not strong in plants. Despite my desire and keenness to have an instagram inspired green house of a living room, it just isn’t happening!

This could be you! You find the whole positive parenting work a total nightmare. You were not raised like that! Your mama didn’t have to bend backwards for your children. You can’t figure out why your children won’t listen and do just as they are told. You are trying everything you know, it just isn’t cutting it! Most of us DO struggle, generally… however, they are some who find teen brain fascinating, others understands the whole child development theory better that they are able to translate it into practice.

My friend do not shy away from asking. Asking trusted friends to show, guide and lead you. Reach out to others who can help.

The upcoming intentional parenting MomBA, is a 6 weeks online crash course on being the effective parent leader that you want to be. More details following soon. There is tons of information available out there, sometimes too much and too overwhelming. Where does one even start to look and who are trusted and qualified people to help?

Intentional parenting stands as a TRUSTED friend who understands some of the complexities and challenges that come with raising children in diaspora. Our strategies are informed by research evidence as well as personal experiences.

We look forward to seeing you FLOURISH in your journey as a parent.

To find out more, get in touch here, via our contact page.

Remain in bloom 🌷

Fadzai x

Hey mama,

Hey mama, how have you been? You have been on my mind. I am writing this just to encourage someone who may be saying, I don’t have much to give as far as motherhood is concerned. I am tired, weary, overwhelmed, on my own, financially distressed etc. Here is an encouragement for you. God sees your heart and your desires. Offer those to Him.

Let Him carry the weight of motherhood and parenting. His shoulders are broader and His feet steady. Trust Him with the load and allow His rest to give you peace.

Praying for our families especially children is a gift that we give. The Bible says the ‘FERVENT’ prayer of the righteous availeth much (James 5:16 summarised). In another version it reads:

“tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!”
‭‭James (Jacob)‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭TPT‬‬

I do not think there is anyone who can be as FERVENT as a mum in her desires for her child/ren. May be biased but hey… 😝

Pray however suits you. Pray the WORD over your situation/ circumstance and family. Believe and have confidence in your prayers.

We are continuing with the 6am prayers. For me they have been a source of strength, encouragement and commitment in actively praying for my family and especially myself. I believe it is out of the abundance of what we have that we are able to impact our children. You can’t give what you do not have right?

Here is my prayer for you:.

May you know Gods grace and love in such a tangible and profound way. May His peace be in your homes. May you love and love well 💕

Let us know how we can pray for you https://intentionalparenting.blog/contact/

If you care to join the 6am GMT prayers, via zoom, link is below:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09
Meeting ID: 633 591 3172
Passcode: prayer

Till then, remain fervent 🌿

Morning Devotion

Thank you to those who joined this morning. The prayers continue Monday- fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via zoom.

Today, one of our sisters and #momfriend, led us into praying for ourselves as mothers, to be vessels used in our children’s lives.


Like Moses with the children of Israel, God is asking you, what do you have in your hand? Moses felt inadequate, ill- prepared and unqualified for the assignment ahead of him. Sounds familiar?

Often times as parents we can feel out depth, inadequate and challenged by the demands of parenting. God is saying to you mom, dad…

What do you have?

Yes I know you lack the knowledge, language, understanding. What is it that you have? I want to use what you already have!

The patience, love, joy, hope, aspiration, dreams and visions that you have towards your child/ren, let me use that! Give it to me. Allow my spirit to search deep within you and REVEAL some of the hidden capacities that I have put in you.
it’s those hidden things you possess that I want to use for my glory as you impact and empower your children.

Prayer:

Lord reveal to me what’s in my hand and heart so I can be of use to You. Show me the capabilities and capacity you have given me. Open my spiritual eyes to see. Thank you Holy Spirit for equipping and empowering me as a parent. Amen”

Reading

Luke 10:19
Mathew 16:19
2Peter 1:3
Philippians 4:13

You can join the prayers Monday- Fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via link below. Copy the link to clipboard for ease of access :

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09. Passcode: prayer

Remain blessed, watered and intentional 🌱

Exam

Praying and wishing all the children sitting their exams this month of May all the success they need.

May they remember what they have revised. May they have peace and confidence in their ability. Above all, we pray that they will know that their worth isn’t measured in grades.

We pray for the parents that they will be supportive and encouraging. May parents be realistic in their expectations. We ask that parents affirm and reassure their children. Lord let your peace, love and calmness invade our homes.

We stand against any spirit of anxiety, worry, stress, depression, unrealistic expectations, confusion and restlessness. We push back on territorial and seasonal spirits that rise up in this season causing havoc in family life.

We lift up our schools. May they be places of safety and learning. We ask that you empower the leaders in the schools to be attentive, available, astute and aware of the needs of the children in their schools. Give them the courage to remain open, honesty and transparent to the challenges they face in their schools. When they have done so, please help them to find help and solutions to those needs. Father, help the teachers to know and remember how powerful they are in the lives of the children. As they walk through this exam season, walk with them, with their fears, worries and anxieties. Allow them to realise the fruits of their head work.

Thank you for our tertiary places of education; colleges, universities and apprenticeships. Help and guide these young adults in their decision making and life preparation. Remind each and everyone of them, that you KNOW their future and you want them to do well. Help them to trust you with their future. Quiten the internal battles and societal expectations. This exam period, help them in all the ways they need this month and beyond.

Thank you Lord that you hear and answer us. Amen

October half term ideas

Half term is here and if you are like me, you just want to create some great memories with your family.

Below I share some ideas on activities and things to do for different age groups. Since we are in a global pandemic, I have chosen outdoor activities to allow for social distancing. So wrap up warm and lets have some fun.

Here is my favourite family places/ adventures to hang out. We have created some amazing memories in these places, so take your pick.

1- Family day out in Oxfordshire

Thinking of spending time in the famous county, home of the famous Oxford University? Oxfordshire has so much to offer for families of all age groups.

-Visiting the popular and world renowned Blenheim Palace in beautiful and serene rural Woodstock, Oxfordshire is a must.

This beautiful and majestic National Trust palace, home to Winston Churchill has so much to offer from the well manicured gardens to the yummy scones for afternoon tea. It’s breathtaking during the winter months and Christmas lights. When you visit,be sure to activate your card so you get the next 11months free. Not sure if they still do it, you get photographed for the annul pass, think University ID 🥰

Things to do :

-Bushcraft activities, they have family fire baking on the list  and it sounds amazing!!

-The grounds for walks, cafe and shop are open as well.

https://www.blenheimpalace.com/

When you have had enough of the walking, hopefully enjoyed the fire baked bread and picked up some beautiful stationery in the shop, head over to our favourite family resting place:

🛌- Heythrop Park and Resort which is only 8 miles from Bleinheim palace. Heythrop has amazing annual October half term activities and family deals such as Dinner, bed and breakfast for a family of four @ £149 midweek and £169 weekends. Thats a steal. In that deal your child can watch a movie and have an activity to do as well. Check out their family rooms and you will see what I am talking about. Definitely, a favourite with my two when they were younger.

Again they have beautiful gardens for that morning walk before you head out the following day.

For more details, check out their website https://www.heythroppark.co.uk/whats_on/families/seasonal-offers/

2-Odds Farm, High Wycombe, Bucks

Pumpkin season is here and this farm provides perfect opportunties to have fun as a family. There is plenty of activities to do at odds farm e.g riding on a tractor, feeding the animals. You need to pre book your visit so they can manage crowds #covidcompliance.

Be sure to bring your camera so you can capture these precious moments. If you are an #instamama, you may want to join the trendy pump patch tradition.

Why not try the American pumpkin pie recipe to celebrate different cultures and traditions. Pumpkin pie

From here you can choose to chill at the famous Roald Dahl Museum in Great Missenden, Bucks. Dahl is the author of Charlie chocolate factory, remember Willy Wonka? What about Matilda and Ms Trunchball? We are talking getting lost in a book here.

Those are our favourite local picks. My family resides in Bucks so these areas are easily accessible. For more information, look out for the photos and ideas on my instagram page Intentional Parenting

Dear parent

Saw this on facebook and had to share. While it’s advise to people with young children, it’s a reminder to us all of how quick time flies and that one day our little babies too will be all grown up.

When you first have children they talk about the challenges of parenting….the struggles of a baby waking in the night,
the toddler who won’t stay in their bed, the cost of childcare, injuries from sports…

Having to take off work to pick them up from school when they don’t feel well, helping them with homework, a messy house, the never ending laundry, the cost to buy school clothes, packing their lunches….

You watch their eyes light up on Christmas morning….and try to soak in the magic of those moments.

You coach them in sports, rushing to practices and ballgames…and tote them all over the country to let them play the game they love…no matter how exhausting or expensive it becomes.

Life is just so busy that you rarely even stop to think what the end of those days look like.

In fact, it’s not really even something you can wrap your mind around.

You go into it thinking that 18-20 years sounds like a long time….

Then suddenly hours turn into days…days into months…and months into years.

That little person that used to crawl up next to you in bed and cuddle up to watch cartoons…suddenly becomes this young adult who hugs you in the hallway as they come and go.

And the chaos and laughter that used to echo throughout your home….gets filled with silence and solitude.

You’ve learned how to parent a child who needs you to care for and protect them….but have no clue how the whole “letting go” thing is supposed to work.

So you hold on as tight as you can…wondering how time passed so quickly…feeling guilty that you missed something….

Because even though you had 20 years…..it just somehow doesn’t seem like it was enough.

You ask yourself so many questions…

Did you teach them the right lessons?
Did you read them enough books as a child?
Spend enough time playing with them?
How many school parties did you have to miss?
Do they really know how much you love them?
What could I have done better as a parent?

…..When it’s time for them to go, it all hits you like a ton of bricks.

And all you can do is pray….hope….and trust that God will protect them as they start to make their way into the world alone.

Parenting is by far the most amazing experience of your life….that at times leaves you exhilarated….while others leave you heartbroken.

But one thing is certain…..it’s never enough time…💕

So for all the parents with young children…whose days are spent trying to figure out how to make it through the madness…
Exhausted day in and day out…

Soak. It. All. In.

Because one day….all those crazy days full of cartoons, snuggles, sleep overs, Christmas morning magic, ballgames, practices and late night dinners…

All come to an end.

And you’re left hoping that you did enough right, so that when they spread their wings….

They’ll fly…💕💕

Hello August

August is always such a beautiful month for me . In my native country of Zimbabwe, August is spring time. It represents the budding and springing you of new things. I get excited!

Growing up, August was always school holidays. It meant visiting my maternal grandmother in the country side, being spoilt on farm produce and then attending the annual Harare Agricultural Show. It was such a highlight across the country as farmers show cased their produce. There were games, rides , food, music, fireworks you name it.,

August is also our wedding anniversary month. It’s such a time filled with celebrations and love.

As I have gotten older and matured in my spiritual walk, I tend to seek Gods word for this new month and for my birthday. I take time to pray, read the word and fast ahead of my birthday. I have to admit that the past 6years it has been phenomenal. On most occasions, my cousin sister has joined or invited me to a fast ahead of my birthday. Having someone to journey with and hold you accountable makes such a difference.

I have seen situations shift in such a phenomenal way. I have also been given clear directions through scriptures or words from two other women that God tends to use in my life. I am grateful for their lives and obedience to God.

As such this year is no different. If anything, we have never needed Gods direction like we do in this unprecedented year of 2020.

Below is my prayer for August. Why don’t you join me in making those declarations;

“Lord I thank You for this new month. Thank You for going ahead of me and levelling every high ground. Thank You for silencing every voice of confusion and giving me clarity of purpose and mind. I declare that August is blessed and I am blessed with the riches of Your presence. My household and friends are blessed. I declare that no weapon fashioned or formed against me will prosper and every word spoken in judgement I will refute, I will not be silent. I declare that I am called for such a time as this. I am operating from a place of alignment. My heart and mind are in the right place in You. I hear and I obey. The Holy Spirit is my friend and confidant, constantly reminding me of Your heart and intentions concerning my life. I am empowered and strengthened. I serve from a place of authority and understanding. My helpers are available and I see them with the eyes of the Spirit. I am attentive to Your gentle whispers and nudging. I am a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. My light shines bright enabling others to see and not stumble in darkness. I radiate Your beauty and light. Amen”

Go ahead and enjoy Gods goodness. Be sure to keep Him at the centre of all your decision making and thought process. Be diligent in spending time in prayer, meditation and His word. If you are fasting, saturate your mind with Gods presence through music, reading and meditation.

Don’t forget to write down the things that God lays on your heart. Carry a notebook or use your smartphone notes to capture these. Be expectant. Expect God to say something through the word, music, friends etc .

When you are at home, it’s a good idea to fill your home with gospel or worship music. I personally enjoy premier radio or UCB 2. Alternatively, you can stream youtube videos of messages that encourage, uplift and most importantly TEACH.

I will be sharing my own journey in this month.

Be sure to follow here on the blog, facebook or instagram.

Every blessing

Fadzai x