Diaspora parenting

Parenting is the most challenging and yet incredibly rewarding role that one will ever take. If you are a parent you will probably agree with me. Here i’m sharing 5tips from my upcoming book
“Raising Fa: Surviving parenting in Diaspora”
In this book I share on what has worked for me as a mom and I what I have learnt through my role as a public health nurse working with families in UK community as well as a safeguarding children’s nurse. Both roles have fundamental understanding of child development theories, family dynamics and the impact of environmental/societal factors on the development of a child.
PARENTING TIPS:
1– Partnering with God. For me this remains the best decision I made as a mom. In all circumstances, I have turned to God to help me as a mom and also help my children at whatever stage they are. By partnering with Him, it lessened the burden as when challenging times came, I looked and literally took my burden to His feet. I will share more on my next blog on how to lay at feet in prayer, interceding for our children. In that blog I will share tips such as praying for your child in their bedroom, playing worship songs continuously in their rooms etc
2— Pray, pray, pray. Pray in faith concerning your children. Dare to believe God for the promises He says concerning your children. My favourite is “All our children shall be taught of the lord and great shall be their peace” Isaiah 54:13 O the price of peace!! That’s the greatest gift I could give my children. That they may know His peace that transcends all understanding. The bible says pray at all times and in all manner. If it bothers you, pray about it, philipians 4:6
3—- Time is money, valuable and is precious! How true with our children! Give them the gift of your time. Let them know how much they mean to you. Drop everything and be with them. It’s the best investment one could ever make, it gives in returns. Imagine a romantic relationship with someone who can never prioritise you but gives you the leftovers all the time. It is the same with our children. Try to set aside time on a regular basis to do something fun with your children.
Rather than tell them what not to do, teach and show them what they should do.
4—Be equipped, learn how to be a parent. A lot of us feel we can just do it, maybe. My personal experience by not being equipped I made a lot of mistakes and now I am trying to rectify these especially with our first. Both my pregnancies were unplanned. Back home, when the community helped to raise a child, it was easier and doable. A lot of the older women were great teachers in informal education. Fast forward in the diaspora, that community is not there. Older women are around but busy and scarce.
Parenting classes then become fundamental for a parent who wants to get it right. Local children centres offer bite size parenting courses, churches and charities as well as independent consultants offer parenting courses. Online courses are also available that are affordable and easily accessible. Society will not let you get on the road without a licence but it is ok to raise a human being on trial and error. Think about it.
5—-In managing behaviours, use descriptive praise when they do something well. Say, “I like how you ____ when you ____.” Be specific.
Help your child learn to express how s/he feels. Say: “You seem frustrated.” “How are you feeling?” “Are you upset?” “You look like you are angry about that.” “It’s O.K. to feel that way.”
Try to see a situation the way your children do. Listen carefully to them.
Above all remember to be kind to your yourself and remain hopeful. Some days are harder and some seasons are even challenging. The truth of the matter is that, it WILL come to pass. Take deep breaths, drink your water and try and get some rest. Sleep enough hours to build resilience so you can continue on the journey.
Would love to hear how you are getting on in your parenting journey. Drop us a comment, like. Share the message of hope and let other parents know we can do it.
Till next time,
Remain intentional 🌱
Love
Fadzai x
💕🙏🏽

Hey Q

Prayer for my son on your birthday


Becoming your mama was and continues to be my greatest legacy. Growing together has been exhilarating, exciting and challenging at most times. Can’t wait for what the future holds. Intentional parenting is you son. Thank you for the many lessons learnt that I get to share with other parents. Thank you for your patience as I continually learn how to mother you better. Thank you for your understanding that at most times, I am winging it with you. Thank you for the grace you extend when I am able to get it right with your sister. I love being your mama.
So today on your birthday I pray that you continually know who you are in God’s eyes. I pray that your light will shine brighter before your generation. I pray that you never have to doubt yourself, second guess Gods purpose and capabilities that are in you. I pray that you will continue to rest in the love we have for you as your parents. I ask God to lead and guide you all the days of your life. Above all I pray that you will walk in Gods purpose, utilising all the gifts and talents that God has given you. I pray for your friends who are your greatest social capita, that they would love you sincerely, be there for you faithfully and that they would encourage you in all things. Quinton, I pray that in all things you will allow your faith to speak louder than your fears. Love you always MaiQ.

Brethren

Stumbled upon this verse and I have to admit, I was astounded!

Astounded maybe because of my inadequacies, my flawed inability to stand long enough together with fellow bethren to see their prayers answered. Yet the Lord commands us to ‘stand together UNTIL”.

When was the last time you stood in faith with someone for those things that He answered in your own life?

#purpose

#bethrenhood 🙏🏽❤

Love

12.10.2021

God loves you and me just as we are. Today He beckons us to receive this undiluted love. Love that is unconditional, pure and sacrificial.
Would you recieve it?

It is out of this overflow that we are able to share it with others.

Father, move in me. Cleanse and purify my heart from things that easily stops me from receiving from you.
I lay down my past hurts, disappointments, heartbreaks and frustrations . I open myself fully to receiving that which You have for me.
Let your love flow through my veins.
The love that is kind, patient, hopeful, faithful led and forgiving. The love that suffers long and endures all things. Remove every lie of the enemy and the lies that I have told myself. The expectations of men, society and the world.

Today I walk in the newness of Your love. Your perfect love that is silencing very fear worry and anxiety in my life. Amen

Receive His love anew today. Let it flow through you.

Remain blessed and loved ❤️

Hey Fa,

Saturday musings

There are more messy entries which I shall share, once permission is granted 🤣😎

Loved this hence I am sharing with you🤣. Stumbled upon this journal entry whilst tidying the bedrooms. I have never been called Fadzai before so this a WHOLE new level for my cherub. This entire entry has been revelatory for me today 😍.

Can I let you in onto something? I have struggled with the whole parenting shindig. Intentional Parenting exists in my bid to share all my pitfalls and blind spots so YOU do not have to. Once in a while I come across evidence such as this 👆🏾, that reminds me that I do get some things RIGHT. Giving notebooks and stationery gifts to my children has been powerful over the years.

This is a journal entry in 2020 from one of my precious jewels. The global pandemic was in full swing and emotions were raging all over the place in the Nyirenda household. We had the exhausted parents from working in healthcare and then the young adults overwhelmed and literally STUCK at home. It was a mess.

In a bid to get some control, sanity and maintain a level of mental wellness, phones were confiscated and that’s how we ended up here.

To see this entry today 2.4.22, warms my heart to a certain extent. Many a times the decisions we make as parents can be painful as we are not 💯 sure wether we are doing the right thing. And to be honest, there will never be a time you are 💯 sure

Whatever decision you need to make for your family , your children especially, trust your GUT. Utilise the research evidence you have at hand about that particular decision. Ask God to help you and find out from His word what you need to do. Reach out to other TRUSTED parents in confidence.

“Effective, intentional parenting isn’t a two people band. Don’t let anyone lie to you. BUILD a community around you to help, you need it.”

Fadzai

Back to your decision making; What’s the worst that can happen?

That’s one of the questions I ask myself when I need to make an important decision and work my work back to mitigate that WORST thing that can happen.

Take for instance, confiscating the phone from your teen. What’s the worst that can happen?

-S/he may hate you

-She may get another dodgy phone from someone else.

-S/he may get social media withdrawal symptoms; depressed/ angry/ upset etc

-S/he may struggle to reach you in an emergency etc.

You explore all this and plan effectively.

The key and most important question is;

What am I trying to do in my parenting??

For me, I am raising the future . I want to honour God in my parenting. I want to raise independent, secure citizens. All this informs my parenting style, commitment and VISION.

Note books are good for putting your thoughts on paper. This is a very useful strategy to use especially with teens who sometimes may struggle to express themselves.

Do you use notebooks, do you write letters to your child/ren, partner or yourself?

If you haven’t tried it, give a go and let me know…

For those who practice this, how is this working? Let me know in comments below,…

Remain blessed and anchored 🌱

Every blessing.

Fadzai

Hey mama,

Hey mama, how have you been? You have been on my mind. I am writing this just to encourage someone who may be saying, I don’t have much to give as far as motherhood is concerned. I am tired, weary, overwhelmed, on my own, financially distressed etc. Here is an encouragement for you. God sees your heart and your desires. Offer those to Him.

Let Him carry the weight of motherhood and parenting. His shoulders are broader and His feet steady. Trust Him with the load and allow His rest to give you peace.

Praying for our families especially children is a gift that we give. The Bible says the ‘FERVENT’ prayer of the righteous availeth much (James 5:16 summarised). In another version it reads:

“tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!”
‭‭James (Jacob)‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭TPT‬‬

I do not think there is anyone who can be as FERVENT as a mum in her desires for her child/ren. May be biased but hey… 😝

Pray however suits you. Pray the WORD over your situation/ circumstance and family. Believe and have confidence in your prayers.

We are continuing with the 6am prayers. For me they have been a source of strength, encouragement and commitment in actively praying for my family and especially myself. I believe it is out of the abundance of what we have that we are able to impact our children. You can’t give what you do not have right?

Here is my prayer for you:.

May you know Gods grace and love in such a tangible and profound way. May His peace be in your homes. May you love and love well 💕

Let us know how we can pray for you https://intentionalparenting.blog/contact/

If you care to join the 6am GMT prayers, via zoom, link is below:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09
Meeting ID: 633 591 3172
Passcode: prayer

Till then, remain fervent 🌿

Morning Devotion

Thank you to those who joined this morning. The prayers continue Monday- fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via zoom.

Today, one of our sisters and #momfriend, led us into praying for ourselves as mothers, to be vessels used in our children’s lives.


Like Moses with the children of Israel, God is asking you, what do you have in your hand? Moses felt inadequate, ill- prepared and unqualified for the assignment ahead of him. Sounds familiar?

Often times as parents we can feel out depth, inadequate and challenged by the demands of parenting. God is saying to you mom, dad…

What do you have?

Yes I know you lack the knowledge, language, understanding. What is it that you have? I want to use what you already have!

The patience, love, joy, hope, aspiration, dreams and visions that you have towards your child/ren, let me use that! Give it to me. Allow my spirit to search deep within you and REVEAL some of the hidden capacities that I have put in you.
it’s those hidden things you possess that I want to use for my glory as you impact and empower your children.

Prayer:

Lord reveal to me what’s in my hand and heart so I can be of use to You. Show me the capabilities and capacity you have given me. Open my spiritual eyes to see. Thank you Holy Spirit for equipping and empowering me as a parent. Amen”

Reading

Luke 10:19
Mathew 16:19
2Peter 1:3
Philippians 4:13

You can join the prayers Monday- Fridays at 6am GMT for 30mins via link below. Copy the link to clipboard for ease of access :

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/6335913172?pwd=MnNlNGhIK0M3TVRWSVliY1ZIeEVtUT09. Passcode: prayer

Remain blessed, watered and intentional 🌱

Hello August

August is always such a beautiful month for me . In my native country of Zimbabwe, August is spring time. It represents the budding and springing you of new things. I get excited!

Growing up, August was always school holidays. It meant visiting my maternal grandmother in the country side, being spoilt on farm produce and then attending the annual Harare Agricultural Show. It was such a highlight across the country as farmers show cased their produce. There were games, rides , food, music, fireworks you name it.,

August is also our wedding anniversary month. It’s such a time filled with celebrations and love.

As I have gotten older and matured in my spiritual walk, I tend to seek Gods word for this new month and for my birthday. I take time to pray, read the word and fast ahead of my birthday. I have to admit that the past 6years it has been phenomenal. On most occasions, my cousin sister has joined or invited me to a fast ahead of my birthday. Having someone to journey with and hold you accountable makes such a difference.

I have seen situations shift in such a phenomenal way. I have also been given clear directions through scriptures or words from two other women that God tends to use in my life. I am grateful for their lives and obedience to God.

As such this year is no different. If anything, we have never needed Gods direction like we do in this unprecedented year of 2020.

Below is my prayer for August. Why don’t you join me in making those declarations;

“Lord I thank You for this new month. Thank You for going ahead of me and levelling every high ground. Thank You for silencing every voice of confusion and giving me clarity of purpose and mind. I declare that August is blessed and I am blessed with the riches of Your presence. My household and friends are blessed. I declare that no weapon fashioned or formed against me will prosper and every word spoken in judgement I will refute, I will not be silent. I declare that I am called for such a time as this. I am operating from a place of alignment. My heart and mind are in the right place in You. I hear and I obey. The Holy Spirit is my friend and confidant, constantly reminding me of Your heart and intentions concerning my life. I am empowered and strengthened. I serve from a place of authority and understanding. My helpers are available and I see them with the eyes of the Spirit. I am attentive to Your gentle whispers and nudging. I am a city on a hill that cannot be hidden. My light shines bright enabling others to see and not stumble in darkness. I radiate Your beauty and light. Amen”

Go ahead and enjoy Gods goodness. Be sure to keep Him at the centre of all your decision making and thought process. Be diligent in spending time in prayer, meditation and His word. If you are fasting, saturate your mind with Gods presence through music, reading and meditation.

Don’t forget to write down the things that God lays on your heart. Carry a notebook or use your smartphone notes to capture these. Be expectant. Expect God to say something through the word, music, friends etc .

When you are at home, it’s a good idea to fill your home with gospel or worship music. I personally enjoy premier radio or UCB 2. Alternatively, you can stream youtube videos of messages that encourage, uplift and most importantly TEACH.

I will be sharing my own journey in this month.

Be sure to follow here on the blog, facebook or instagram.

Every blessing

Fadzai x

Anchor

Day -2

This hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]–a safe and steadfast hope that enters within the veil [of the heavenly temple, that most Holy Place in which the very presence of God dwells],”

‭‭HEBREWS‬ ‭6:19‬ ‭

Lord we thank you that it is You who enables and causes us to be hopeful. Thank you for our families, our hopes and aspirations. Despite what the world news, government statistics, even our friends may say today remind us of Your steadfast promises.

Today, we join our faith with those who may feel they are in a hopeless situation. Lord by Your grace and mercy, would You allow them to see a glimpse of your faithfulness and trustworthiness. May they be encouraged as they put their trust in You. Thank you that by You, all things are possible. Thank you for allowing us to feel the warmth and confident assurance of your embrace.

Are you feeling challenged, overwhelmed, stressed or hopeless today? God desires to exchange all those emotions with His love and care. The Lord is close to those who find themselves in a difficult and challenging place. He waits for us to invite Him into our situations and circumstances. Invite Him in.

Though the words may be few or not even there, He understands and totally gets it.

Reminder :Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ♥️🙏🏽

Fulfilling purpose, realising your dreams.

Dreams don’t thrive in a vacuum, without being supported, fanned, and bolstered.  And you can’t fertilize your dreams sufficiently all by yourself.  You need loving ambassadors, mentors, sponsors, and supporters who believe in you, and who see the future vision of you before it’s hatched.

These supporters know how to keep you true to your dream even when you’re so afraid that all you want to do is run. To launch your big dream into the world as a healthy baby ready to thrive, you need a “village” to support you.

I have been very hesitant to step out in faith. My past struggles used to stare me in the face, but my village has been nothing but supportive. Yesterday as I stepped into Airport Church for the parenting seminar, I vividly remembered the path the Lord had walked me through all those years that I sat under the ministry of Bishop Annie. In that moment, I felt vulnerable, broken and scared. I felt inadequate and unqualified. I sobbed like baby as I saw the grace and faithfulness of God starring at me in the very place that fear once stood.

The Holy Spirit reminded me there and then that it was the struggle that has brought me to here and now. There is no shame in my struggle but God’s purpose and destiny. I can never stand and claim to be qualified. He, qualifies the called so that His purpose will be fulfilled.

God says to Moses, what is it that you have in your hand? Exodus 4:2 .He poses the same question to each and everyone of us. Those things that you have encountered, seen , heard.. the hurt, pain, joy, laughter, setbacks, people and places . Those are the very essence of you. No one can tell of your struggles the way you can.

“Look to the path you have walked and know that there lies your destiny”

hope 💕