Milestones

Milestones

What is this about?

The parenting webinar is a community initiative to build each other’s capacity and empower one another on the parenting journey.

This was birthed from the understanding that it takes a village to raise a child. This is a concept that I am very familiar with having been brought up in Zimbabwe. Growing up, I was raised by the community. Fast forward to my own parenting journey, the circumstances have changed. In a bid to find that community, a virtual one was created in February 2017.

I remember as a health visitor deliberating and talking about this with colleagues; the social isolation, the statistics on youth crime, gangs and changing face of society. What also struck me was how ethnic minority families were not accessing children centres for support. On a personal level, as a mom of teens, the need for support and encouragement became compelling.

The more I talked about it to family and friends, the more I realised the need. Ideas started flowing, fear also crept in as well. Fear of the unknown, being judged etc. With encouragement prayer and support from a lot of people here we are today.

As we celebrate this milestone we have covered 30 sessions out of the 52weeks as we initially ran the webinars forty nightly and then took breaks when needed e.g World cup semi- finals. Topics discussed ranged from boundary setting, managing inter-parental conflicts, understanding children’s love language, sleepovers, parenting and social care as well as the role of fathers to name a few. I have also covered some face to face sessions. I believe I have grown tremendously in understanding of self and the world around me. I thought I would share a few things with you.

Lessons learnt :

1️⃣- Start- Just do it! Do it afraid if you have to. Technical hitches do happen, prepare as much as you can and if it happens, do not lose face.

2️⃣- Enjoy- Some days it will be such great fun. Most days it will be hard from finding motivation, people to empower and simply being busy with life. Find joy anyway. Time flies when having fun. Having your vision scribbled somewhere, on a placard, note book or framed helps. It keeps you aligned and focused.

3️⃣- Engage your audience. Depending on the topic, allow people to share, suggest, ask questions. Be open minded about audience and potential client group.

4️⃣-Be on time. Being punctual is critical. Not only does it show that you are professional and serious, it demonstrates respect. Respect for your audience, their time and dedication.

5️⃣- Find people who can critically appraise what you are doing. Having feedback is key on moving forward. Encouragers are great, a critical friend is key and a keeper. Acknowledge them. Appreciate them.

6️⃣- Value- valuing yourself, your effort is also important. Don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.

7️⃣Back up- Yes, save, save your work, drafts and save again, especially in blogging and content preparation for the webinars. I can’t recall the number of times, my content just disappeared. That can make or break you. I learnt to get up and write again.

8️⃣Prayer- Remains the foundation and cornerstone in your building. Communicating about your vision, committing yourself and audience to God offers a place of clarity and understanding.

9️⃣Ask- ask for help and offer help when others need it. Having a support network makes all the difference. We receive what we give. By being present and available to others, it offers opportunity for reciprocity.

🔟 Losses and gains. Many people especially immediate family and friends will not get your vision. After all it’s yours. Don’t be discouraged. Familiarity does that and we are all guilty of that. You will lose familiar faces and gain more new ones. Embrace both.

1️⃣1️⃣ Conviction – Stand for what you believe and express yourself. In this journey, I am learning to speak my mind and mean what I say. I term that growth.

1️⃣2️⃣ Celebrate- celebrate both the big and small achievements. It is said ‘ do not despite the days of small beginnings’ and remember Rome was not built in a day.

Here is to the future. For what it will be, we entrust in Him. What we know is that there is grace and hope.

If you are interested in joining our growing community, you are most welcome. Our Zoom webinars are weekly on a Friday at 8pm UK time. Do get in touch ( whatsapp, messenger, facebook, instagram).

Hopeful ❤

Mama

Mama

Day 10

“You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable”. Khalil Gibran

What a privilege to be called mom. My transitioning into motherhood was fraught with fear, uncertainty, depression and ignorance. I struggled with attachment and then got separated from my son at 11months whilst I came to UK. It was by choice, by the way. Was I thinking straight? I am not sure. Anyway, that a story on its own for another day.

There is a grace to make it even if you started badly. That grace is available today for you. Reach out to Him to help you. Motherhood challenging as it is, can be fulfilling. I ask the father of all flesh to bless you with His love, grace and favor today as you look to Him for guidance. May He show you His tender mercies and the beauty of His strong everlasting arms. Feel His warm embrace and the lifting of burdens.

Lord we thank you and honour you today and always. ♥️🙏🏽

Choice

Choice

Day 6

May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears’ Nelson

Some days I wake up with an enormous sense responsibility in raising our children to be everything that they are meant to be. That can be crippling when the what if’s are glaring at you. I do not know about you but those moments can easily leave us in a place of fear when we look at what is around us and what is happening around the globe. I want to challenge you today and say mamma choose hope in place of fear.

Hope is trusting, hope is believing in the beauty of the future with resounding confidence, and that’s what we bestow upon our children. My prayer for you today is that the Lord fill you to overflow with hope as you continue to trust Him.

I pray that you will choose faith. Faith to know that you are qualified and equipped to raise your children. You have it in you. Look deep inside yourself. Faith to reach out in confident surrender when it all gets too much, which it does many a times depending where you are in your journey.

Above all, I pray that you will choose love. That, you will love yourself, yes, you. Love you more, appreciate you more, be in love with you. I believe when we do that, we give others permission to love us and love us better.

♥️🙏🏽

Grace

Grace

Day 3

Today I pray for grace. Grace for us to do what we need to do without feeling the strain and pressure. Over the years, I have come to appreciate and understand that grace is the oil that lubricates and eases the friction.

I remember one particular day, 11th November 2017. I woke up as usual and got myself ready for work. However, something prompted me to look in the mirror just as I was brushing my teeth.

As I lifted my head up to look into that mirror, a gentle voice whispered ‘that’s grace’. I stood and stared. I was starring at the person in the mirror. Indeed grace had located her, just as she was. It must have been a whole minute while I stood there and just intently locked eyes with this graced being.

It was in that very moment, that Gods grace became so apparent. Overwhelming, sustaining and incredible grace. I have always had a sense of His presence, enablement, encouragement and comfort. What I didn’t realise is the depth of His grace.

That week, work had been super busy and our son wasn’t feeling very well that he missed the entire week of school. As moms, we often just carry on, being brave, strong and composed. We do not realise how much strain and stress we are carrying. On this particular day, in that mirror moment, I got to understand that His grace is the buffer to my cortisol levels. Grace is indeed what carries and sustains me. The pressure both at home and work front had not gone unnoticed. The long daily commute did not help either. His grace had enabled me to carry on despite it all.

This grace is available to all who would ask for it. He says my grace is sufficient for you too today. Would you receive that grace?

Prayer: Lord, thank you that your grace is available for me today. You know the things I need to do, the places I need to be and all the stuff that needs done. May I not strive but receive your help without feeling guilty or lazy. Amen. 🙏🏽♥️

Anchor

Anchor

Day -2

This hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]–a safe and steadfast hope that enters within the veil [of the heavenly temple, that most Holy Place in which the very presence of God dwells],”

‭‭HEBREWS‬ ‭6:19‬ ‭

Lord we thank you that it is You who enables and causes us to be hopeful. Thank you for our families, our hopes and aspirations. Despite what the world news, government statistics, even our friends may say today remind us of Your steadfast promises.

Today, we join our faith with those who may feel they are in a hopeless situation. Lord by Your grace and mercy, would You allow them to see a glimpse of your faithfulness and trustworthiness. May they be encouraged as they put their trust in You. Thank you that by You, all things are possible. Thank you for allowing us to feel the warmth and confident assurance of your embrace.

Are you feeling challenged, overwhelmed, stressed or hopeless today? God desires to exchange all those emotions with His love and care. The Lord is close to those who find themselves in a difficult and challenging place. He waits for us to invite Him into our situations and circumstances. Invite Him in.

Though the words may be few or not even there, He understands and totally gets it.

Reminder :Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. ♥️🙏🏽

Motherhood and well being

Motherhood and well being

We were talking motherhood and well being on the webinar this evening.

The ladies acknowledged that life can be busy and hectic but taking time out to recharge is important. We also acknowledged that as diaspora parents, lack of extended family support is a massive challenge.

Some of the comments from the attendees:

” Know that you do not love your family if your do not look after yourself. Who is going to take care of them if you burn out?”

“Don’t give ashes to your family when you have burnt out”

Remember what they tell you on the plane in case of emergency???

“Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put it on your child”.

Strategies used by some of the moms in enhancing their well being.

‘-Me time’ at the swimming pool as well as reading and listening to biblical podcasts.

-Exercising together as family, thereby being a role model and looking after our health.

-Praying alone and with other ladies. Being willing to be open and vulnerable with other mothers about our challenges.

– Building and maintaining a social network.

– Learn and be prepared for the seasons of life. For example unplanned pregnancies potentially may cause a strain on role transition into motherhood.

– Learning from other moms from all age groups and of different seasons.

– Looking to God for counsel and wisdom.

– Empower the older children to help with younger siblings with activities around the house.

-Getting hubby or significant other to help with childcare whilst I attend to ‘me’.

– A bath soak with candles, oils and a book is always a good easy treat.

-Platforms such this webinar, to come and learn together, building our own online village.

How do you unwind? What strategies have you seen or heard that are helpful? Would love to hear from you. xxx

Seed of Hope 💕💕

Fulfilling purpose, realising your dreams.

Fulfilling purpose, realising your dreams.

Dreams don’t thrive in a vacuum, without being supported, fanned, and bolstered.  And you can’t fertilize your dreams sufficiently all by yourself.  You need loving ambassadors, mentors, sponsors, and supporters who believe in you, and who see the future vision of you before it’s hatched.

These supporters know how to keep you true to your dream even when you’re so afraid that all you want to do is run. To launch your big dream into the world as a healthy baby ready to thrive, you need a “village” to support you.

I have been very hesitant to step out in faith. My past struggles used to stare me in the face, but my village has been nothing but supportive. Yesterday as I stepped into Airport Church for the parenting seminar, I vividly remembered the path the Lord had walked me through all those years that I sat under the ministry of Bishop Annie. In that moment, I felt vulnerable, broken and scared. I felt inadequate and unqualified. I sobbed like baby as I saw the grace and faithfulness of God starring at me in the very place that fear once stood.

The Holy Spirit reminded me there and then that it was the struggle that has brought me to here and now. There is no shame in my struggle but God’s purpose and destiny. I can never stand and claim to be qualified. He, qualifies the called so that His purpose will be fulfilled.

God says to Moses, what is it that you have in your hand? Exodus 4:2 .He poses the same question to each and everyone of us. Those things that you have encountered, seen , heard.. the hurt, pain, joy, laughter, setbacks, people and places . Those are the very essence of you. No one can tell of your struggles the way you can.

“Look to the path you have walked and know that there lies your destiny”

hope 💕

Wealth and riches

Wealth and riches

I choose my family.

As a praying mother, I have realised that it takes more than wishing and wanting your family to be united in love hence I pray about it.

As mothers there are so many things that scream for our attention: work, whatsapp groups, unending women’s activities, prayer/business conferences, ladies getaway breaks. Most of these things are very noble but what are we prepared to sacrifice in their place?

What are you choosing day? Where are your riches?💝

My gift to my children

My gift to my children


August 2012 Olde Barn hotel.

Thanks to Facebook for this reminder. What sweet memories!! These two have now grown very fast right before our eyes. We didn't know THEN the memories we were creating and the rituals that have now become so ingrained as family traditions.

I pray for our children. I pray that they will find kindness amongst their generation. I ask the Lord to be their shield and banner, to keep and sustain them. I pray that they will always find help when they need it. May the Lord surround them with sincere friends who will bring out the best in them. I commend them to the mercies of God for their future.

I pray for our children that they find joy and happiness in what they put their minds, hearts and hands to do. May they know the satisfaction that comes from enduring hard work. I pray for the eternal blessing of knowing God and walking in His ordinances over our children. They are my greatest blessing and I am grateful to God.

I pray that they will love and respect each other. I ask the Lord to bind them with cords of love that cannot be broken. I speak into their relationship, that they will be each other's keeper. I ask for grace and strength into their lives, to champion one another in things that are meaningful and of good report.
August 2012..Peterborough Cathedral.

I ask the Lord that their lives be full, filled with hearts of service to His kingdom, His people and themselves. I pray for our children that they will remember their mother and father's sacrifice. I pray that they will find those sacrifices worthwhile. I ask the Lord to give our children forgiving hearts for where we failed. I pray that our children will become better parents than we were. I pray that our children will treasure and honour our relationship with them.

August 2017, Porto

I pray that our children will find love. I ask the Lord that He will give them life partners that know Him first. I pray that our children will find time to laugh in those relationships.

I thank God for our children. I thank Him for hearing and answering our prayers as parents.

I will always pray for our children. Prayer is my gift to our children ❤