Flourish

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This was our Word for the month of September 2019. Back then, I had received 3 indoor plants in one month. I began to sense that there was a deeper meaning to the random gifts friends gave me.

I am in no way, shape or form good with plants. One friend said ‘ the more reason why I am gifting you plants’. Talk of being stretched 😂

I struggled with a particular plant a bit and had to run back to the giver. She advised me to CAREFULLY trim the dead parts of the leaf, feed the plants organic home food and watch. The organic home fertiliser comprised of overnight soaked banana peels, egg shells and tea bag.

To my amazement, the plant started to thrive.

Rejoice

This was my latest gift, Rejoice and I loved her!

I felt the law of seeding and harvesting was at work in that season. Seeding, weeding, nurturing and tending to plants requires careful attention as well as commitment. The harvest is bountiful to those who will do the work right?

“Lord strengthen my hands in place of hard labour(parenting). Help me not to shrink back or give up. Allow my entrusted plants (children) to flourish through careful considerations.”

Isn’t it amazing that this plant analogy also translates to our role as parents! Many of us we are not confident in this area. We are not sure what fertiliser to apply, how much moisture and where to place the plant so it can thrive and blossom. All this guesswork and stress levels 🤣🤣.

What I have found to be useful is having that trustworthy and well informed friend. Remember that passionate green fingered friend of mine forever gifting plants? Yes, her! Each time I visit her house she has got this new plant, that other plant and they are ALL blossoming. Interestingly, she tells me that she reads a lot about these plants before she buys them. She is careful to follow instructions around watering, plant feed and placement. She chuckles every time I tell her the plant she gifted me has died..

While google is available to all of us, my understanding, patience and interests are clearly not strong in plants. Despite my desire and keenness to have an instagram inspired green house of a living room, it just isn’t happening!

This could be you! You find the whole positive parenting work a total nightmare. You were not raised like that! Your mama didn’t have to bend backwards for your children. You can’t figure out why your children won’t listen and do just as they are told. You are trying everything you know, it just isn’t cutting it! Most of us DO struggle, generally… however, they are some who find teen brain fascinating, others understands the whole child development theory better that they are able to translate it into practice.

My friend do not shy away from asking. Asking trusted friends to show, guide and lead you. Reach out to others who can help.

The upcoming intentional parenting MomBA, is a 6 weeks online crash course on being the effective parent leader that you want to be. More details following soon. There is tons of information available out there, sometimes too much and too overwhelming. Where does one even start to look and who are trusted and qualified people to help?

Intentional parenting stands as a TRUSTED friend who understands some of the complexities and challenges that come with raising children in diaspora. Our strategies are informed by research evidence as well as personal experiences.

We look forward to seeing you FLOURISH in your journey as a parent.

To find out more, get in touch here, via our contact page.

Remain in bloom 🌷

Fadzai x

The woman in me

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Woke up today feeling rather exhausted. It’s been a month since I started my new job. Reality has since set in and I have found myself busier than anticipated. That certainly has had a knock on effect on my mental and emotional health.  The English weather and the commute has not helped. The train commute isn’t bad, it’s the driving through packed, smokey and hot London tarmac roads that does my head in. For sanity’s sake I will not mention the parking.

The weather tops it all for me. The need to be comfortable and practical is a must. However, the English weather remains unpredictable. You never know when it is going to rain or whether the sunny spell will last the 12hours whilst you are at work. It is hard. One has to think about what to wear and how that can adapt to the weather too. It’s a problem I had anticipated hence I chose a uniform. If you have read my previous blog on the day before the new job, I bought some lovely, comfortable navy blue slacks to wear with plain white t shirts and pumps. Well, today I decided otherwise as it was going to be warm. Besides, my daughter had decided to wear my t-shirts at home 🤣. 

Feeling rather unmotivated and wanting to get into the office early for a busy day ahead, I just grabbed the clean and cotton dress that I could find. It’s the African ankara dress mama got tailor made for me. It fits well and that’s all I needed so I could catch the earlier train. Thankfully, I made it after sprinting a good 5mins! The joys of commuting, I keep telling myself, you are getting fit girl!🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Anyway, I walk into work and I get lots of compliments on this particular dress. I get lots of nods and smiles from ‘sisters’ with a look of approval. It dawns on me that the dress is making a statement that I had not perceived before. When I walked into the office, colleagues exclaimed how they like my dress. I chuckle to myself and just smile. Comments are made with the British niceness and political correctness that I have become familiar with but still unsettling.

The dress is addressing my identity and all that I represent. Someone remarked that the dress has made them feel homesick, as I reminded them of where they come from. Amazing how a piece of clothing can conjure so many emotions at all levels. Then there is the senior colleagues I met in the corridors with the look of ‘wow’. That’s me there affirmed! The beauty of working with a very diverse community is that you find your sisterhood.  These are the women who identify with you and what you are all about. These are women who have walked your journey or are on the same path with you.  Your stories, struggles and strength are entwined and become the given. Your journey is easily understood without having to explain yourself.

Today I didn’t  wake up, wanting to draw attention to myself, I didn’t feel that way at all. However, I’m glad that the day turned out the way it did. For the rest of the day, I had a spring in my step and a conviction in my heart that I will get there. There, for me, is a place of effectiveness and relevance. 

The dress reminded me that it’s not so bad after all. I am African. I am a strong African woman. The dress allowed me to have small talk with a few more people than before. This dress addresses the woman in me, a woman on a Journey. 


That has been the highlight of my day! 

Hopeful ❤