Hello May

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Welcome to the incredible and amazing month of May. Join us here at intentionalparenting as we celebrate maternal mental health month.

We have a few programs and events lined up for you as below:

1-Walk and Pray

In a bid to encourage better mental health, we are encouraging parents to participate in the 10k steps a day challenge. As parents the struggles of raising children can impact greatly on your overall well being. For those of us who are migrants, the challenges with our mental health is even greater. The stresses of travel and living in a different culture and society cannot be under estimated. World Health Organisation advocates for good mental well being for migrants and refugees, WHO.

Walking as a form of exercise is well researched to aid good mental wellness. We have chosen walking as its low impact and we want to incorporate prayer into that walking space. More details on the benefits of walking are here

We will be walking Monday- Friday 7-7:30pm. GMT. During that time we will be praying too. If you have any prayer requests , you can send these to the whatsapp group admin and will make sure that we stand in faith with your for your request. To join the group, click here

You can join the walking challenge from anywhere and you do not necessarily need to walk at 7pm GMT. We encourage you to find times that suit you and share your step count with us for motivation and encouragement. You can also join our Facebook page if you prefer something not too intimate as a whatsapp group.

On the last Saturday of the month which is 25th, we are going to a local prayer mountain here in Buckinghamshire to give thanks and praise God for all He would have accomplished in us this month and beyond! Remember faith celebrates before seeing because faith in itself is a confident assurance that God is a man of His word! Paul said this in the book of Hebrews chapter 11 :

“This is what it means to trust God: We will be sure about the things that we hope for. We will be sure in our minds about things that we cannot even see.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬ ‭EASY‬‬

2- PRAYER Journal

Yes we have taken to journaling this month as well as part of mental health first aid. We are really excited to be embarking on this remarkable journey in May as we look at maternal mental health. Click here to download the 31day journal that we will be using throughout this month.

The journal is there to prompt you to take 5mins and jot down how the day went for you. Please use this as part of self care. It’s key to CREATE that 5mins to write down how your day has been.

We want to demonstrate to our children how we take care of ourselves and that we take mental wellness seriously. Identifying and naming your feelings and emotions is paramount in taking care of your mental health.

3- MEET UPS

The community and village is key to our overall well being. We have cluster meet ups to share and encourage one another. These meet ups are an opportunity to meet like minded women and if you join the Whatsapp group this will be a great way to put a face to a name. Virtual meetings are great however in person meet ups are the best.

We are kicking off with the Buckinghamshire cluster, being the home of Intentional Parenting 😍

We are meeting up at this incredible gathering of wise women in Milton Keynes. It’s going to be a refreshing time of learning, empowerment and growing. You don’t want to miss this. Be sure to join our whatsapp group so we can connect and coordinate. Do invite your mom friends too.

We have clusters all around the world primarily;

Africa:

-Zimbabwe, South Africa, Tanzania ,

Middle East:

-Kuwait

USA

-Texas, Atlanta

Europe

-UK, Scotland, Ireland, Poland

4- Prayer Mountain

Join us on the 25th of May at the Coombe hill here in Buckinghamshire as we take our prayers and petitions to the Mountain.

Why on the mountain, you may ask:

Matthew 14:23, “And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.”

Exodus 24: 12 The Lord said to Moses, “Come up to me on the mountain. Stay there, and I will give you the stone tablets with the teachings and the commandments I have written for the people’s instruction.”

We are excited to be embarking on this and our cluster groups will be undertaking their activities in those respective areas.

To join the community, use link below: click here

Intentional Parenting is home to BOLD and courageous mothers Women who are awakened to the call of God in raising Kingdom children. Women who love to walk in the TRUTH. Our 6am club is a place of growing and drawing strength from the giver of all that is good is perfect. We believe in creating safe spaces for mothers to flourish and that takes intentionality and a willingness to WORK! We welcome women and mothers with a heart of service, open minded and who DARE to live unapologetic in their convictions and beliefs. General blessers. Come join , the community of mothers we grow and nurture one another.

Check out the rest of our blog on all thing intentional Parenting.

Every blessing

Fadzi x

Playful Parent

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We are continuing with our Affirmations challenge. Cannot believe it’s end of November already! today we’re saying to out children ‘ You are fun to be with’.

Can your children say the same about you?

What does fun and playfulness look like in your home? We all have different expressions of being funny, playful and enjoying life.

For most of us African parents, we may not have seen our parents roll on the floor with laughter, tickle or cuddle us. They had their own ways of being fun. May be they enjoyed telling folktales. May be they enjoyed singing and dancing to hyms. That was their idea of fun and there is nothing wrong with that.

The idea of being playful especially here in diaspora can seem very alien to us parents of African heritage, as everywhere you look, there are pictures or literature on Western ways of playful parenting. I would encourage you to do what feels FUN for you. Share that side of you with your children.

Once in a while, don’t worry about the mounting bills, all the responsibilities that come with being a parent.

Do something that makes you have belly laughs.

Dance to your favourite music like no-one is watching.

Hang out with the girls or boys where needed.

Below I share some

Tips for being playful.

  1. Embrace Playfulness: Don’t be afraid to let loose and engage in playful activities. Whether it’s a spontaneous dance party in the living room or pretending to be pirates in the backyard, embracing your inner child creates a joyful atmosphere.
  2. Create Family Traditions: Establishing fun and memorable family traditions fosters a sense of togetherness. It could be a weekly game night, Friday movie night, Pizza party, a special breakfast on Saturdays, or an annual family outing. Consistency builds anticipation and strengthens family bonds.
  3. Be Open to Spontaneity: Sometimes, the most enjoyable moments happen unexpectedly. Be open to spontaneous adventures, like a last-minute picnic in the park or a surprise movie night, bowling evening, a drive through your neighbour or some random place. Flexibility adds an element of excitement to family life.
  4. Use Humor: A good sense of humor can diffuse tension and create a lighthearted atmosphere. Share jokes, play silly games, or simply find humor in everyday situations. Laughter is a powerful tool for bonding. Be open to silliness.
  5. Incorporate Learning into Fun: Turn educational activities into enjoyable experiences. Whether it’s a science experiment at home, a nature scavenger hunt, or a creative art project, blending learning with fun makes it engaging for both you and your children.
  6. Be Present: Quality time is key to being a fun parent. Put away distractions, focus on the moment, and actively participate in your child’s world. Whether it’s reading a book together or building a fort, being fully present enhances the enjoyment.
  7. Encourage Creativity: Provide opportunities for creative expression. This could involve arts and crafts, music sessions, or imaginative play. Allowing your children to express themselves fosters a sense of autonomy and joy. Let your children see you join clubs and activists as well. Join a salsa class, go to the gym etc
  8. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement boosts their confidence and makes the learning process more enjoyable.
  9. Outdoor Adventures: Plan outdoor activities that cater to different interests. Whether it’s a nature hike, a day at the beach, or a bike ride, fresh air and physical activity contribute to a fun and healthy family dynamic.
  10. Express Affection: Show love and affection regularly. Hugs, high-fives, and words of encouragement create a positive and secure environment. Knowing they are loved unconditionally contributes to a happy and enjoyable family atmosphere.

Fruit of the Spirit

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At intentional parenting we run a 6am club where we share the WORD and encourage one another to walk in its TRUTH, demonstrating the love of God to those near and dear to us. One of the ways we do this is through studying the books of the Bible. This October, November and December we are in the book of Colossians.

We are continuing reading and praying through the book of colossians. As Christian parents we are encouraged to live a life that honours God, in our conduct and actions with our children.


Below is an inventory I have drafted taken from the fruits of the spirit scripture in Galatians 5:22. These fruits demonstrate to us as Christian parents that we are in union with the Spirit.

I am inviting you to take stock/ inventory. Of these fruits which ones are you strong in? Which ones do you need to develop some stamina?

You may find that there are seasons and moments when you are able to demonstrate these. Reflect on those seasons, what is happening? Why do you think you are able to be kind, patient and loving to your children sometimes and struggle in others? Jot these down under notes section.

Below are tips/ways to develop and cultivate these qualities in your life:

  1. Prayer and Reflection: Regularly pray for the Holy Spirit’s guidance in developing these virtues. Reflect on your actions and attitudes in light of the fruit of the Spirit. Have someone hold you accountable to your growth.
  2. Study Scripture: Delve into the Bible to understand the teachings and examples that embody the fruit of the Spirit. Seek wisdom from scripture to apply these principles in your daily life. The Intentional Parenting monthly bible study through the 6am club will help you with this. You can join the whatsapp group via this link
  3. Embrace Love: Actively practice love by showing kindness, forgiveness, and empathy toward others especially your children. Love is foundational to the other fruits of the Spirit. Demonstrate this with your children. Let the sisterhood of faith hold you accountable in walking in love. Love compels us to look out for each other in prayer, sharing of tips/ knowledge and ideas. Join our facebook community via think facebook page
  4. Cultivate Joy: Focus on gratitude and find joy in your relationship with God. Choose to rejoice in both good and challenging circumstances, trusting in God’s plan. The gratitude jar is also a wonderful concept. Have you tried it before?
  5. Pursue Peace: Strive to be a peacemaker in your relationships with your children. Seek resolution rather than conflict and trust God’s peace to guide your decisions. Apologise to your children when you have gotten things wrong.
  6. Exercise Patience: Develop patience by understanding that God’s timing may differ from your own. Exercise restraint in difficult situations and trust God’s plan to unfold.
  7. Practice Kindness and Goodness: Actively look for opportunities to be kind and do good to others. Let your actions reflect the kindness and goodness that God has shown you. Extend this to your children. Our whatsapp and networking community offers opportunity to interact and grow with other mothers, giving you a safe space to grow.
  8. Be Faithful: Demonstrate faithfulness by staying committed to your relationship with God, your promises, and your responsibilities. Trust in God’s faithfulness as your example. I cannot over emphasise this. There is such a rise in social isolation in our generation as people develop mis-trusting relationships. As parents of faith, loving and fellowshipping with other believers is highly commended. We believe and strive to do that in our pursuit of intentionalparenting.Why don’t you join us at the next networking event. Join our Facebook page to kept up to date
  9. Cultivate Gentleness: Approach others with gentleness and humility. Avoid harsh judgment and strive to understand different perspectives.
  10. Exercise Self-Control: Practice self-discipline in your thoughts, actions, and emotions. Seek the Holy Spirit’s help to overcome temptations and cultivate self-control.

Remember that developing the fruit of the Spirit is a lifelong process. Continually seek God’s guidance and rely on His strength to grow in these virtues, knowing that it’s through a relationship with Him that these qualities can flourish in your life.

Remain intentional 🌱

Day 12 Affirmations challenge

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In todays challenge we are reminding our children that ‘You mean a lot to our family’. It’s important these words are meaningful and substantiated by actions. Would your children agree that they feel special and mean a lot? What are the things and actions that demonstrate that?

Below are tips that you can apply to demonstrate to your child that s/he is important.

  1. Active Listening: Pay full attention when your child speaks. Show that their thoughts and feelings matter by actively engaging in conversations. Make an effort not to use the phone or screens.
  2. Quality Time: Dedicate focused, quality time to spend with your child regularly. This reinforces the importance of your relationship in their life. This could be dinner time, school run time. Normalise having connecting time with no distractions. Some parents enjoy having 1:1 dates and it does not have to be expensive.. coffee dates, etc
  3. Celebrating Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s achievements, whether big or small. This reinforces their value and accomplishments. You can cook their favourite meal if they have been helpful in the week. Be clear what you are celebrating and refrain from celebrating academic achievement ONLY. Celebrate other virtues such as being kind, helpful, thoughtful etc.
  4. Personalized Attention: Provide individualized attention, addressing their unique needs and interests. This demonstrates that you understand and appreciate their individuality. Spend 1:1 time with your child doing the things they love.
  5. Express Affection: Regularly express affection through hugs, kisses, and verbal affirmations. Physical and verbal expressions of love emphasize their importance to you. You may not be comfortable with this if you did not grow up doing this, I would encourage you to lean onto your discomfort. You can start by hugging your child on specific times, eg when they leave home for school, when they come home, when you meet after a period of separation. You then build it up by cuddling them when on the couch together watching tv and so forth. Hugs and physical touch are good for us, they lower heart rate and blood pressure.
  6. Attend Events: Attend your child’s school events, performances, and activities. Your presence at these events communicates your active involvement and support. Negotiate with your employer so that you can attend key events and if you cannot, explain to your child in a way that they understand.
  7. Encourage Communication: Create an open and encouraging environment for your child to share their thoughts and concerns. Make it clear that their voice is heard and respected.
  8. Prioritise Safety: Ensuring your child’s safety is a tangible way of demonstrating their importance. Establishing a secure environment fosters trust and a sense of significance.
  9. Routine Check-Ins: Regularly check in with your child about their day, experiences, and feelings. It shows that you are genuinely interested in their well-being. Again the kitchen/ dining table is key for these discussions. For working parents, you can schedule a face time or video/ phone call to check on.
  10. Involve Them in Decision-Making: Include your child in age-appropriate decision-making processes. It empowers them and emphasizes that their input matters.
  11. Celebrate Special Days: Make a big deal out of their birthdays and other special occasions. Creating memorable experiences on these days reinforces their significance in your life.
  12. Create Traditions: Establish family traditions that involve your child. These can be simple routines or special activities that contribute to a sense of belonging.
  13. Display Their Artwork: Proudly showcase your child’s artwork or creations. This demonstrates that their efforts and creativity are valued. Let them know how proud you are of their creativity.
  14. Share Stories: Share stories about their childhood or family history. It fosters a sense of identity and importance in the family narrative. How about a family tree event. Talk about your own childhood. What did you enjoy the most? Who were the important people in your life . Why did you migrate?
  15. Encourage Individual Goals: Support and encourage your child in pursuing their personal goals and interests. It communicates that you believe in their potential.
  16. Celebrate Uniqueness: Embrace and celebrate the unique qualities and talents of your child. This reinforces that they are valued for who they are.
  17. Be Reliable: Be a reliable and consistent presence in your child’s life. Dependability creates a sense of security and importance.
  18. Apologize When Necessary: Acknowledge and apologize if you make a mistake. This teaches your child that their feelings and perspectives are respected.
  19. Listen Without Judgment: Create a non-judgmental space where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences without fear of criticism.
  20. Offer Encouragement: Provide regular words of encouragement. Positive reinforcement reinforces their self-worth and importance. The affirmations challenge is key here to support those. More details on this

Remember, it’s the combination of these actions that truly conveys to your child that they are cherished and important in your life.

For more information, on upcoming masterclass and vision board workshop, do join the facebook page to be kept up to date.

For parenting support, contact Fadzai via this link

Remain intentional 🌱

Intentional Parenting affirmations challenge

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This month of November we are taking the positive affirmation challenge.

Research on affirmations suggests that they can have a positive impact on the brain, influencing areas related to self-worth, self-integrity, and cognitive processing. Studies indicate that practicing affirmations may help in reducing stress, enhancing resilience, and improving overall well-being. They can also contribute to a more positive mindset, increased self-esteem, and a stronger sense of control over one’s life.

We are encouraging parents to speak positively in the lives of your children. Most of you may already be doing this. What we are emphasising is the power of spoken words into the hearts and minds of your children.

💡Tip

You may also want to draw out traits that you need to see more in your child. For instance you may have a child who has either of these traits; fearful , indecisive, anxious, unkind, disorganised, confused, hanging with wrong crowds, lazy, indifferent, distracted, etc.

Speak into those traits eg where there is laziness, speak diligence, commitment etc. Talk about it with your child in a sensitive and respectful manner:

“I see you struggle to get things done. How can I help you?”

Listen to their suggestions and be willing to work with them. Put practical strategies to support with what needs to happen. If you identify something that you nee help with, do get in touch with Fadzai via this link

Talk about the challenge and how you are keen to support and make a difference as a parent.

If your child is old enough, ask if there is anything that they need you to focus/ support or pray into?

The idea of the challenge is to make it your own and meaningful as much as possible.

We understand the power of the SPOKEN word especially when said in faith!

Goal

These are some potential goals for this challenge focused on intentional parenting:

  1. Encouraging parents to prioritize quality time and meaningful interactions with their children in order to foster strong emotional bonds and promote positive child development.
  2. Empowering parents to practice mindful, conscious parenting techniques that prioritize understanding, empathy, and effective communication, fostering a supportive and nurturing family environment.
  3. Promoting the importance of setting clear boundaries and consistent discipline strategies to help children develop self-discipline, responsibility, and healthy decision-making skills, ultimately contributing to their overall well-being and character development.
  4. Highlighting the significance of promoting emotional intelligence and resilience in children through intentional conversations, positive reinforcement, and modeling healthy emotional expression, thus equipping them with essential life skills for managing and navigating their emotions effectively.

What you need for this challenge is to speak these AFFIRMING words into your child. If you are christian we encourage you to do it prayerfully.

I encourage you to be creative, wild and think outside the box on how you want to do this.

Below are examples of what you can do:

Bedroom door.

Affirmation JAR

Choose a consistent time that works for you and your household. For example, a working from home parent may choose a time when the child/ ren are at school to surprise them when they come home each day with an affirmative word.

Another parent may choose to share the word with child, pray together into that Affirmative word and may ask the child to stick it on the door.

Do what works well for you and your child.

Encourage the teens and young adults living at home to participate. Let them know you are taking the challenge. With this cohort of children, they may not be overly interested, do not lose heart. They need these WORDS more than than you can imagine. For Christian parents, you may want to pray into their rooms on your own each day using that AFFIRMATIVE word and then stick it on their bedroom door.

For those of you with a children who share a bedroom, use different coloured post notes for each child so you can differentiate.

If you do not have post it notes, use plain paper and coloured pen/ markers/ highlighters/ eg black pen, green, red or blue.

Some of you may prefer to use digital notes. Use what is easier and best for you. This may work well with children who are not living at home may be in boarding schools, college, uni or left the nest altogether.

Be as creative and wild as you want with this.

As a parent remember to speak positively to yourself as well:

I am a loving parent

I am doing a great job

I am raising the future

I am the best parent for my child

I am learning

I am enough

I am growing

I am impactful

I am open minded

I am qualified to parent.

I love what I do.

The Challenge

“Positive Parenting Affirmation Challenge”
“🌟✨ Join our #IntentionalParentingAffirmationChallenge #IPAC and share your daily affirmations for a happier, more fulfilling parenting journey! Let’s uplift our children and spread the joy of positive parenting one affirmation at a time.

🌈 Tag us and inspire others to embrace the power of positivity! Use these hashtags #ParentingPositivity #Affirmations #IntentionalParenting #IPAC

Follow Intentional parenting socials via links below for updates and inspiration.

Do share with your friends, families and colleagues.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/intentionalparentings

Whatsapp group : https://chat.whatsapp.com/GQ4N7X3fvoII0RZo5AMjeg

Instagram : I’m on Instagram as intentional_parenting. https://www.instagram.com/invites/contact/?i=1ja8yyio9fp65&utm_content=3bmfqzz

Hey Mama

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To all mums, are you checking in with your #momfriends?

Let’s normalise having these deep conversations. If this is your first time seeing our #intentionalcheckin, is this something you will be able to do with your community/ support network/ village?

One of the challenges of modern day parenting is social isolation. Yes we may have so many followers/ fans, be in so many social media groups be it whatsapp/ facebook, threads, you name it.

Yet we feel so alone!

Developing those meaningful relationships becomes key as we seek to thrive in this parenting game. You may argue that ‘me I do not need anyone apart from my children or husband’

What about your children? How are you teaching/ showing them the power of community and positive network?

‘Your children are watching and learning from you on how to live. Inspire them’

Wilferd Peterson

My observations and personal experiences is that you only need 2 or 3 people that you connect with at this level of doing this proper check in. People you can HONESTLY tell about the exciting and challenging things in your life.

If you have 1 or 2 people you trust, invest in those relationships. Diarise those catch ups and honour them because life is very busy especially as parents.

Depending with the ages of your children
, you can use this as family check in as well. Why don’t you give it ago. Try at dinner time to check in with everyone..

Number 4 is also very important, that questions is often underplayed yet a game changer.

If you are not able to find practical help, in so many other ways, PRAY, Listen, signpost.

We all can help.

If you would like to discuss #momfriendship, need some ideas, support, signpostage,… book a confidential 1:1 consultation here

May be you need someone to pray with you over this issue… do reach out via the consultation line on link here

Here is to thriving and flourishing in parenting.

Yours in the trenches with you

Fadzai x

Praying for sons

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What a promise we have in God as we continue to hope and trust Him with our families and children!

Rise and occupy your place as a praying parent. Believe in the power of your prayers and God’s faithfulness to answer prayer.

June has been a phenomenal month, standing in the gap for the male child. As we draw to a close, Thursday 30th at 6am will be a time of praise and thanksgiving for what the Lord has done.

Tomorrow again at 6am we are praying for his future. What vision has God given you concerning your child/ ren’s future?

“I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭GNT‬‬

His same WORD encourages us that
‘The people who KNOW their God shall be mighty and do exploits’

There has never been a greater season to be mighty and do great things as parents.

May the Lord hear you when you call. May He answer you from heaven.

May you lift your voice and declare:

‘I would have lost heart, have I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Remain blessed and anchored. 💕

Child Q

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Intentional parenting stands with Child Q. As a community of black African parents, we will work with our community at large to heal on the trauma that we have faced.

What makes Child Q a very distressing and complex case is the layers of abuse, discrimination, injustice the community faces. To rectify these issues requires a system wise approach. For instance, why didn’t Child Q refuse to be undressed without her parents there??

As I write it’s difficult to imagine what must have been going through her mind when all this was happening. I want to take a minute and applaud the relationship Child Q has with her mother that she was able to share the horrors of what happened to her.

Thank you to the Hackney Safeguarding who took this forward to the panel.

We are holding a series of webinars to discuss about this trauma, led by qualified practitioners from education, health, safeguarding, parenting,faith, youth work and many others.

Intentional Parenting invites those with expertise in those areas, are willing to work with our community to get in touch via our contact page below via email/ phone/ whatsapp.

We are open and willing to work with both statutory and voluntary organisations in forging a way forward.

We understand that this is not an isolated incident. We will speak to our children and LISTEN to their experiences. We will LEARN from their experiences and stand with them.

We promise to make time and read the SCHOOL policies so we are familiar with them.

As a community we will seek opportunities to be part of the change both in schools and our local areas. These will include volunteering and participating in events that involve our children’s education such as school governorship, PTA (parent teacher association), youth work etc.

We pledge to continue working within our community and other partner agencies in making sure ALL children thrive and reach their potential.

To Child Q and many others, we see you. we hear you. As your parents forgive us for times we didn’t believe you, we are willing to do the work.

Diaspora diaries: My children and their education-supporting exam time.

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Webinar

God has called us into a *living* relationship with Him and those around us especially our families, children in particular.

By investing time, we are able to be effective in supporting their journey into their growth.

– Loving them despite and beyond the grades is key.

– Love propels us to invest time in prayer for them.

– Supporting them with their studies throughout the year is more important than exam day.

– Speak to their teachers, be involved at school.

– For most of us, the education system is a whole new experience. Seek to learn from others, ask questions, be open and willing to learn.

– Let’s be sensitive and empathetic towards other parents who may seem to be struggling at school.

–

God bless you